I don't know why it took my so long to come back to this...tyranny of the urgent I guess...but we (Ed and I) both just realized that I really need this to be able to function. Not just properly but at all.
It came about last week (Thursday night, to be specific) when I was just at the end of my rope. I was literally ready to quit. Period. I had had it with attitudes and unfinished schoolwork, on top of everything else that is part of just living from day to day and taking care of the babies. I have never been so close to quitting homeschooling before. So before bed, I was sharing all of this with Ed over Skype (he was at work) and he tried to encourage me...get some rest, take my vitamins, he would deal with the attitudes when he got home...and then he reminded me of some verses from Matt. "Ask and it shall be given you...". I did. I asked and He gave. He reminded that "without me ye can do nothing" and I knew that I had to start seeking Him every morning.
I know all this sounds like I'm just now learning that I need a quiet time or even that I haven't prayed or read my Bible in 10 years. This is all stuff I've known since I was very young...theoretically anyway. Before I started having babies I had a regular quiet time every day. Then Life happened. I would still read my Bible but it wasn't a consistent thing. And I do talk to the Lord all the time. That truly is a life habit. But there wasn't that quiet uninterrupted time of reading and prayer and preparing myself for the day. Usually the day would just start and I would wake up running from the time my feet hit the floor. ( Or at least dragging. lol) And too, I'm NOT a morning person. It usually takes me forever to wake up. But since Friday morning I have had the most unusual grace to be able to just get right up and not feel like I'm prying my eyes open. I have been taking my vitamins more, but I know it's more than that. It's the Lord. And you can't imagine how wonderful it is to feel "able" to cope with everything my day is going to throw at me, and not feel like I'm barely hanging on.
It's all HIM and my daily prayer is for strength and grace and that I keep coming back for it. I can't get tomorrow's grace today. It's a daily thing.
So now, I get up at 9:00 and have my quiet time. And if the kids wake up before I'm done, they know they have to stay in bed and lay quietly or they can turn on the iPod and play Scriptures until we come tell them it's time to get up.