Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Trust

Ok, so I keep starting posts and then not getting to finish them and they end up in drafts and my blog is still not updated....
This is just some thoughts running through my head lately....reflections on my own life as well as stuff shared from others, conversations, etc. ( Are you scared yet? Run while you still can. =)
But it's just about trusting the Lord and the ways He teaches us these lessons. I hope I can express what I'm thinking here without coming across the wrong way. I know, for many people, the way we live is hard to understand. We have a large family, don't really practice birth control, we homeschool, have our babies at home unassisted, and try to live as naturally and self-sufficiently as we can. In a large part, I guess you could say that it's because we are trusting the Lord, but, for me, in some of these cases it's something that I just feel comfortable with doing things this way. Particularly unassisted homebirth. I don't guess I've discussed this on here much, if at all, but I guess now is as good a time as any to share my thoughts and perspective on this issue. With my due date getting closer and closer (and my belly getting bigger and bigger=) this is on my mind alot.....but, let me go back to the beginning.
I first got interested in homebirth before I ever met my husband. We were attending a missions workshop in a little town in TX and while there, one of the ladies we knew had her baby. Ok so not AT the workshop literally, but they had a trailer and she had it at home and her husband delivered. I remember thinking it was the coolest thing I had ever heard of and hoped that one day maybe my husband could do the same thing. (No offense to anyone, but I'm not a huge fan of Dr.'s or hospitals. =p) Anyway, fast forward a couple years, I'm just married and pregnant with Aaron. We knew right away we wanted a home birth and started doing tons of research. I read every book the library had on birth, pregnancy, etc....medical or otherwise. And I researched online too. We wanted to know what we were talking about. AND I got hooked. I absolutely love reading about and studying birth. To me it is one of the most miraculous/exciting/emotional/lifechanging experiences there is. The more I read the more excited I became and the more convinced that I wanted to have this baby at home with just Ed to deliver. Well, the Lord had other plans, Ed had gone on a quick mission trip and was going to be home before my due date, but I ended up going into labor before he got home. Thank the Lord, Mom was there and (as we had already agreed on if this did happen) took me to the hospital. It was a quick, fast, natural labor and delivery, but I did have to fight for it(or rather Mom did for me). Long story short, I know the Lord worked things out like that for His own reasons and I have no regrets, but it definitely reinforced the idea that homebirth was best. I believe that birth is a natural process that our bodies were uniquely designed for and (in most cases) it's not a medical emergency. Just as you wouldn't go to the Dr every time you ate to make sure your food was digesting properly or just in case you choke, neither is it necessary for a healthy pregnancy and birth. Well, 15 months later we had our first homebirth. A waterbirth. And I could go on for each one... We've had a total of 5 unassisted homebirths and 1 unassisted (late) miscarriage.
Every pregnancy and birth has been unique, but they have all been relatively healthy and each one a learning experience. I don't ever want to get to the point where I think I have learned it all and don't need to study anymore. I try to research more every pregnancy and see what I've missed with other ones, more health, nutrition, exercise tips. Whatever. I want to keep learning.
Now, I said all that to say, having our babies at home is not a responsiblity we take lightly, nor do we object to medical care if it's needed. (My husband is an EMT after all=) But we feel this is the direction the Lord has led us in, and let me add, it's not for everyone. The Lord leads each of us differently, and we all have different circumstances so please don't get the idea that I'm preaching everyone should do things the way we do. Not at all. My whole point here is about trust. Do we trust the Lord with our lives and all of the little details? This is something I have to keep asking myself. Why do I/we do this....or anything...the way we do? Is it because it makes us feel better, to prove a point, or because we believe it's God's will for our lives. Hopefully it's the latter. But it's a good thing to keep asking. And I think that God brings things to our attention to remind us to refocus on Him.
I love to talk about birth and enjoy sharing my own experiences, but I know that not everyone shares my passion so I hope this wasn't too boring. I purposely kept the details out as I know they might not be universally enjoyed.
Anyway, as always I like feedback, so give me your thoughts.

1 comment:

Melissa@SimplyMel said...

Very interesting post. Thanks for sharing. I am definitely one of the people who could not do home births. It's definitely not our thing. I admire people who do do it and I know many women are opting for home births more now than they have in the past. My chiropractor and his wife have had both of their children at home. God bless you with your new little blessing. I love the pictures of your kids in the sidebar. And I can't believe Kyla is two! I keep thinking of her as a baby still. She's the same age as Madelyn.