Friday, January 16, 2009

New year, new beginnings

So this is the first year, in the 9 years we have been married, that I am neither pregnant or nursing.
 I guess I better back up and fill you all in.
 When I last posted I mentioned that I was having problems with the pregnancy, well, we found out later on (when all the kids got sick too) that I had contracted a virus called Fifth Disease. Normally, it's a pretty mild virus with maybe fever and tiredness, but the most prominent symptom is really red cheeks on children followed by a non itchy rash. It can be so mild that you will have caught it and not even know it most of the time. We actually had a little down time with ours and stayed home all through the holidays as it's contagious, but for the kids it really wasn't a big deal. The danger is if you are elderly or pregnant. Apparently it can cause severe anemia and heart failure in unborn babies. That's what it did in our case. We lost our little boy 2 days before Christmas. 
   Through it all I have had several things to be thankful for,... one is that I actually know the cause of my miscarriage ( not knowing why would have been really difficult to deal with for me), the other thing is God's grace. Not that we weren't sad or that it didn't hurt, but that He let us know that He is still in control and that He does care what happens to us even if we don't understand why.  Family and friends helped us so much and prayed for us through all that time and I'm so grateful for that. More than I could ever say. I had to be off my feet for probably about a month or more. During that time I had so many people bring meals and come and cook and clean, mostly family, but some friends too. 
  I still can't say that I know what the Lord wanted to teach me. I know that He allows everything for a reason and wants us to learn through every experience, but I'm not sure what mine was. Maybe I won't know until years down the road .... regardless, I know I can trust Him.
And it's not that I haven't asked "why" either.... I think anyone who goes through a similar situation does.... but, it's more that I trust His love. If He loved us enough to give us His Son, how could I ever think that He would allow something that was not for the best .
   So, that  being's a new year. I want to learn more this year....I want to teach my children more this year.  I also want to enjoy more this year .... I hope to take more time to just rejoice in the Lord and all He has given me and gives me daily.  So far this year I have been busy, busy...setting new goals, figuring school schedules and curriculum orders. Cleaning and organizing the house and just trying to feel more in control of my life again. Maybe that's a problem, though. Maybe I should be focusing more on giving control to the Lord. I don't mean quitting on my responsibilities, but more of striving for a different attitude. Not getting so frustrated when my "schedule" doesn't go according to plan. Or feeling so defeated if something beyond my control messes with some of my goals. 
 I hope I'm not rambling here. It's been awhile since I blogged and I think this blog is as much for my own good as it is to let all of you know what is going on in our lives.
  As far as the kids go... they are all doing great!
  We had a really fun Christmas with them. In spite of everything else, that part of Christmas went really smoothly and we had a great day.
   Aaron is still challenging my mental capacities with his constant barrage of comments, questions and observations on all aspects of life... and contributes to the clutter and chaos with endless inventions.
  Lela is enjoying some new success with designing paper doll clothes.We got her a Klutz book for Christmas that teaches fashion design/sewing preparation. She loves it and does a really good job.
 Lyssa is learning and growing in many areas, she's making progress in being responsible, and keeps up with the older 2 in school almost effortlessly. They are all in the same "grade" in school, though with us doing a classical style they each grasp it at a different level and it doesn't hold anyone back. She is also enjoying a book of spiral draw. 
 Both girls look forward to starting a quilting class with Grandma really soon.
 Isaac is still loving school and is showing progress in number and letter recognition. His memorization ability is amazing and he is memorizing grammar rules right along with the older ones. =) We are having to work on attitudes and being considerate more these days.
 Levi is still a little lover boy (when he's not fighting with Isaac) and is always ready to hand out hugs and kisses. He is talking really well and we've started him with memorization projects too. (I'm sure he could have done it before now but we couldn't understand him =) 
 He and Isaac are partners in crime these days, and only the screams when one feels betrayed gives them away. They sometimes even include Kyla in their endeavors.  
  Just the other night, Ed and I were in here enjoying a break and a cup of coffee while the little ones were playing in the other room. We heard it get continually louder and more excited but decided to "play dumb" unless it appeared that someone's life was in danger. Well, in just little bit Isaac comes in crying that he's hurt, so while Ed checks for broken bones, I asked him if had been jumping on the bed. He said," No ma'am, we weren't jumping on the bed." "Well, were you jumping off the bed?" "No ma'am." " Well, what happened that you got hurt?" "I was jumping off the dwessah (dresser) and Levi moved the pillow." It was so unexpected we both started laughing. Thankfully the dresser isn't much taller than the bed. Just goes to show that you can never predict what your kids will do.
 Kyla is changing the most, of all the kids. She is walking now, and staggers with remarkably good balance from room to room jabbering and getting into whatever she can, just happy to be able to walk like the big kids. All our kids have been really smart since they were tiny, but she has a way of communicating that is beyond what any of the others have done. She talks alot and some of it you can understand, but by inflection and tone of voice you just know that if  you could understand all of it she would be speaking in complete sentences. And she is only 16 mths. old. Most of the time she is happy and content, but she definitely has a mind of her own and she picks her battles. She will obey perfectly and without hesitation 9 times out of 10, but the 10th time she will suddenly decide that she wants to do something else. Then we have to have a training session.
   Anyway, I guess that sort of catches us up for now. Hope to be on here a little more faithfully, barring any unforeseen circumstances.
 Happy New Year everyone!


Mini Cakes for Many Occasions* said...

Love the new layout. I have been thinking I need to call you, maybe I will get to it this week ;O)

Melissa@MamaMonoblogs said...

Oh my goodness, Jessica. I just found out today about your loss. I have been a terrible blog reader as of late and haven't been reading hardly any blogs. I was just catching up on yours. I'm so sorry to hear about your baby boy. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
I do love the new layout and I'm enjoying catching up on all your blogs. I'm sorry that I have not commented or stopped by for awhile. As usual your kids are adorable and they make such great blog topics!! Take care of yourself.

Love, Mel