So I recently stumbled across a paper (thanks to my sweet Dad) that I wrote my senior year of high school. It was a project for speech and, I confess, I was cringing a little when I re-read this old paper (that I will actually share with you here) due to its amateurish writing and my very obvious youth. But it triggered a whole host of thoughts and emotions that I felt should be written down, which then turned into this blog post. Please bear with me in this somewhat-awkward-but-very-real, trip down memory lane.
M.K.s: A Paradox not a Paragon
Today I want to discuss how missions relates to everyone in general and M.K.s in particular. First of all, What are M.K.s? Well, M.K. stands for "missionary kid" or a little missionary. Missionary kids are people just like you. They aren't aliens. I admit, sometimes they do look a bit strange - even talk weird - but they are human. They have feelings just like everyone else. They laugh, they cry, sometimes they even get scared and lonely, but most of all they love. They love God and they love people.
As people, in many cases, they act just like you would. They aren't superhuman, they do make mistakes - plenty of them. In other cases, if their actions are different than yours, consider how they grew up. For example, if they are ecstatic over peanut butter and kool-aid for Christmas, just overlook it.
M.K.s are also paradoxes. Not paragons - paradoxes. They can fit everywhere, yet they can't fit in anywhere. They get to go the most, yet they also get left behind the most. They have lots of friends, yet they often go friendless. living in the midst of a lot of people, loneliness is no stranger to them. But - in spite of all that, M.K.s are very privileged. They are allowed to see and participation God's work first-hand. They get to travel and a get a broader perspective of what life is like for others all over the world. They get to learn new languages - and use them in the U.S. so no one knows what they are saying. They are given so many opportunities to learn, even if they don't graduate when everyone else does. They get hands-on training - better than a college class-room can give.
Okay, so we know a little bit of who they are, but what do they do? A question frequently asked is, " Don't you get bored with nothing to do?" Well, hardly! There is plenty for a missionary kid to do. They live over there just as you do here - well, almost, anyway. What I mean is, life is made up of certain basic activities, and M.K.s do those basic activities too. Perhaps a little more or less than you do, but they still do them. They work, have school, and play by turns. They witness and sometimes even suffer persecution. One of our personal friends was talking to a Muslim priest and he said something the priest didn't like, so the priest punched him in the mouth and knocked his front tooth out. That's not a common occurrence but it does happen.
Last of all, let's look at what M.K.s need. Just like anyone else they need a lot of prayer. They are subject to so many pressures and Satanic attack, prayer protection is essential. Many times, even all times, prayer decides the success of how an M.K. spends the rest of his life. Did you know that only a small percentage of all missionary kids return to the field?
They also need love and support. This goes a long way with them. They accept the fact that they won't please everyone or be liked or approved of by everyone, but if they know that they are loved and supported by their family and friends it really helps. It makes decisions easier if they know that they have support no matter the outcome. And they do. God is always there. He provides love, and if they are following His will, support too. Don't pity them, they don't need your pity. But a little understanding will go along way.
In closing, I want to say that M.K.s don't have a corner on God. God is there for any and everyone who will accept Him. M.K.s sometimes have a more balanced perspective than others, but that doesn't mean that others can't get it too. God will use anyone, any time, any place if they will just trust and obey. You can be a missionary right where you are. If I've don't nothing else, I hope I have caused you to think and helped you see things from a different perspective.
- by Jessica Rogers -
so....yeah. I felt it deserved a re-write or an update. If you still feel like reading that is..
M.K.: A Paradox not a Paragon (20 years later...)
What is an M.K.? I'm not sure anyone ever truly knows what these strange creatures are who call themselves missionary kids, least of all themselves.
I wrote that little paper 20 years ago now, right before graduation. having spent very little time on this side of the ocean. Fast forward about a year and half and I was married to a wonderful man from south Louisiana. Thus began my life in a culture that was, in many ways, more of a mystery than any I had ever lived in before. I my paper I noted that we are a paradox of ideas. Walking contradictions. I felt this more than ever as I tried to adapt to my new life. That is one thing we do a lot of: try to adapt to the situation you are in without looking like an idiot, or making any grave social faux pas, while also appearing relaxed and at home. Marriage and parenting added fathoms to that concept.
I never would have imagined that I would spend the next 20 years in just one country, America. That I would not get on another plane for 10 years, that even then it would just be to another state, or that it would scare me to death. ( What happened there?) I never imagined that "Cajun" was a foreign language ( aren't we saying the same words?) or that the most complicated culture I would ever learn would be my own. (I still haven't figured out what the secret southern code is for who you hug and who you shake hands with. Anyone? a little help please...) I never anticipated how hard it would be to be the one left at the airport gate waving goodbye to Mom and Dad and siblings, wondering when I would get to see them again. Or how much I would miss traveling and all those mission conferences. Don't get me wrong, I love my life in all it's surprises and adventures since being married. We've certainly had plenty and I wouldn't trade a day of it. It's just that the adventures weren't ones I was expecting, and the biggest surprise to me was not that life changed...but that it stayed the same and I didn't. I couldn't. God was taking me a different direction.
I won't lie, it was a scary thing when I first thought I was losing my identity as a missionary kid; and while we often are more than willing to challenge the status quo, and think outside the box, we still instinctively shrink from fundamental change. Now where do I fit in? How do I identify myself?
In many ways I'm still figuring that out, but the simplest answer is this. I find my identity in Christ. and I fit into His Kingdom. We all do. That is where we all find our ultimate belonging. And my mission field is right here, where I live every day. Just like it's always been, regardless of geographical location.
In re-reading my paper, I was struck by something I wrote then but didn't really understand. And that is this: as much as we are different, we really are< all of us> the same. I understand this better at 38 than I did at 18. We all struggle to fit in. To know who we are. To feel comfortable in our own skin. We all feel the same emotions: joy, pain, fear, loneliness, love...the same God is above all, and in all and through us all...
I'm also pretty sure we can't claim a more balanced perspective. Maybe a more multi-colored one. But to claim balance indicates perfection, and we are far from achieving that. I also hope I'm not being presumptuous in saying "us" in reference to missionary kids. I realize each person's experience in as unique as they are. These are just some observations from my own life as well as that of siblings and other family and friends over the years.
I may never have the privilege of traveling overseas again, though I hope and pray that I will, but I know that I'm still an M.K. My parent's are missionaries and always will be, regardless of where they live. And I'm learning about a whole new phase called 'Being a Grown-up Missionary Kid with a Family of your Own'. Who knows. I may write an update in another 20 years.
(P.S. A huge shout out to all the spouses of all missionary kids everywhere. We couldn't do it without you. I know I certainly got the best, and I thank God for the privilege of living life with him every day. )
JESSICA
